A Line Allows Progress
by Subvert Normality
Summary: Nny/Squee slash. Set ten years after JTHM. Johnny returns to his old town to find that more things changed than just himself in his absence. Squee, better known as Todd, has an entirely different life, but is shadowed by a past he just vaguely remembers.
1. Chapter 1: Devil Town

Ohello. Just so you know, as of this moment, you're reading a slash story. If it isn't your cup of tea, acquire a taste, or go away {:

nny/squee ship being sailed. set 8 years after the comics. obviously nny and squee are going to be slightly OC, but! i see it as them being in character, just developed in different ways. oh, and for my benefit, i have squee as 18 and nny as 28. okay(:

DISCLAIMER: i do not own JTHM or Bright Eyes (and if anyone wants to know the songs i use in this, just review {: )

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"…_But I do what I do and at least I exist, what could mean more than this? What could mean more, mean more?"_ Music swelled in the buds of Johnny's ears, the voice of one Conor Oberst louder than the traffic on the street. Years ago, Nny would have laughed at the line of this song and had thoughts of how the singer wouldn't exist for much longer. Since that time, however, he'd grown, evolved, become someone almost entirely new.

Johnny hadn't been restored in sanity by any means, though. He might have learned to find enjoyment in the music of Conor Oberst and his strange creative force, but he still never found anything pleasing about the vile flesh force that was humanity. To this day, he would meticulously destroy those he thought really deserved it, but he no longer wasted his time on the minor details. He would spare the lives of the ones who weren't worth his time, even though they would probably be better off dead anyway.

Still, changes hovered around him. He blended into each day, whether he had a fitful sleep or not and with hardly any urges to kill. Nny spent more and more time painting and drawing; he didn't hear a single voice in his head. Not once. When he felt like killing someone, he carefully thought about it. It'd come to a milestone where he began separating people in terms of "worth the time" and "cutting too much into watching TV"; it worked for him. No one would find him, anyway.

Nny moved around a lot, now, too. Quite often, people he would occasionally spend time with would develop affections, or require too much attention from him. He hadn't been successful in becoming the emotionless being he been aiming for, but he could cut strings without a second thought. Like his distaste for sleep, he had better things to do than entertain people.

So that's what he was doing now, one hand holding an iPod he'd taken from a victim ages ago, the other holding a bag full of all his clothes. His car had long since been run down to the point of uselessness, and he found it easier to just rely on public transportation to get places. He hardly ever massacred all the passengers anymore, so it was an acceptable compromise to the freedom of solitude.

Croaking along, unheard by Nny, a bus pulled up to the designated stop, doors _wooshing_ open for the dark-clad man. Nny's lip curled in aversion to the unappealing contraption, but ascended on and took a seat near the front, which was empty. The back was full of teenagers, presumably talking about bad music. Why did people always sit at the back of the bus? Johnny didn't understand that. It only made their trek away from the revolting place longer.

A clean, piano driven song came on Nny's shuffle, a raw voice singing about how existing for the next ten minutes would be fine. Nny tapped his leather boot to the beat and wondered briefly how the singer felt now. Would he still be fine with that?

Someone took the empty seat next to him, and Johnny felt himself edge away in revulsion, clutching his bag on his lap a little tighter. He hoped the person was observant enough to see that he had earphones in. He hated it when people tried to talk to him and he was forced to ignore them and the seemingly soundless shifting of their mouths. To save his peripheral vision from such a fate, he turned his head completely and stared at the monotone world fizzing by.

"_I want a slurpee,"_ he thought. Johnny cast a look at his iPod as a new song came on. "A Line Allows Progress, a Circle Does Not." The name made a hysterical kind of laughter build in his chest, and he felt a small one escape his lips. There he sat, on the way back to the town he'd left a murderous mark on. If the title was so correct, what the fuck was he doing?

X

A school bell clanged loudly, releasing rooms full of joyful students, including one Todd Casil. His feet walked slowly compared to the rampage around him. It was the last day of school for the year, and the last day of high school for Todd. He felt a small shimmer of success; he'd made it through senior year.

Sometimes it amazed him that he really had gotten this far. For the past eight years he'd been living with his cousin, Jill. She'd visited him on a day almost blurry to him now and taken him away. He couldn't recall details; all he could remember was the feeling of care when she picked him up and held him unlike anyone had ever done before. She had gone to visit his mother, who was dying from some sickness he couldn't remember, and had found him crying. He couldn't remember why he'd been crying either, but sometimes had vivid flashbacks of a man dressed in black with a sinister smile.

In fact, that was about the most vibrant memory of his childhood, until Jill came. His neighbor. Todd knew that he'd had a neighbor, remembered his face and his name; he just couldn't remember what happened to him. Upon seeing his old house, Todd knew Nny had moved, but didn't remember that ever happening and hadn't seen him since. So he had to have moved, right?

Todd thought about Nny sometimes, but not a lot. When he did, though, Todd always thought about how Nny was the first person who had ever cared about him enough to worry. Nny definitely had been there for him, and Todd knew it, but when he tried to reflect on it, he just remembered the scene of ripping flesh and then running. It went black after that. Todd just figured it didn't matter anymore.

Someone pushed him out of the way in a struggle to be free from the building, and Todd sighed under his breath, lacking the motivation to get angry about it. He would get out of the school when he did, the walls weren't holding him back anymore than anyone else. Jill was probably waiting out front for him, too, a big grin plastered on her face. The thought made him smile.

Jill had been better to him than anyone he'd ever known. She supported everything about him, and helped him through many battles. She'd been the perfect mom in every sense. She threw him birthday parties, spent afternoons tromping through the snow with him during winter, made hot cocoa for them and baked cookies for Santa on Christmas, and even helped him build a tree house when he was younger. To this day, he and his friends still went up there occasionally.

Even as Todd became an angsty adolescent, she still lavished him with love. She helped him with his homework, urged him to get good grades, and helped him pursue his goals. Most of all, she accepted his homosexuality and acted the way any mom would with her son's girlfriends when Todd brought a new boy home. She was just as overprotective, too, and almost killed Todd with embarrassment when they had "the talk."

Todd pushed through a heavy school door, once again questioning why they were so heavy. Really, what did it accomplish? What was wrong with a normally proportioned door? Sunlight hit his face and he put a hand up to shield his eyes, spotting Jill instantly, leaning against her car with that grin on her face, looking like she wanted to run to hug him, but knowing he would be slightly mortified at that.

He grinned back and walked over to her, adjusting the straps of his now-empty backpack and opened his mouth to greet her as she clapped and congratulated him. Todd was used to her making everything a big deal, but it made him feel so accomplished when she did, so he accepted it.

"How's it feel to be a graduate, Todd?" she asked him, the pride of a parent in her eyes. In one hand she held an envelope, and with the other she gave Todd a short half hug, which seemed to promise a much bigger hug when they got home.

"Victorious," he answered, breaking the embrace so the two of them could get in the car as she handed him the envelope. He didn't bother questioning its contents. Jill loved the mystery of a surprise and would never tell him.

"I'm so proud of you! Now open your present!" she squealed, almost bouncing in her seat as she drove in the direction of their home.

Todd looked at the envelope and turned it over in his hands for a few moments, then put it in his bag. "I will, but after the party. I want the full weight of this day to settle in."

Somehow, it didn't feel like the biggest part of the day had happened. Todd felt like he was still anticipating something, but he just couldn't figure out what.

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hurray for chapter one! review, perhaps? :D


	2. Chapter 2: Something Vague

Wow, i wanna say thank you so, so much for all the reviews/alerts/favs on the first chapter. it made me really happy {: ALSO! IMPORTANT! i never read squee, because i'm a loser and what not and didn't have any money... /cough. anyway, i'm tossing pepito in for the benefit of not creating more people. if pep seems ooc, please mention why, and i'll work on it {:

DISCLAIMER: i don't own anything jhonen vasquez related. or bright eyes related. boo.

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After bumbling along for a pointless amount of time, Nny found himself stepping off the aluminum Hell and into a much greener one. It was cleaner, clearer, and had nicer air, but it was still another version of Hell. Some of the people just hadn't died and gone to heaven yet. Chances were, Nny would change that.

Nothing had really altered. The whole place was still a dump, there were still easily identifiable groups of people, and the 24/7 still hadn't replaced the lights in their neon signs. If one thing really bothered the maniac, it was the fact that he always felt like the place was closed just because of the dull sign, which he blamed on human programming. It made him think a sign would tell him when he could and could not get a delicious brain freezy.

He felt like stabbing the throat of the workers who refused to change the signs but controlled his urges. It _was_ a 24/7, after all. But he still couldn't comprehend how it was such a big fucking deal to take a few moments out of their day to turn the open sign on so as not to mislead people. Assholes.

Shrugging the feeling away as best as possible, Nny slung his bag over his shoulders and flicked his iPod to another song as he sauntered into the gas station toward the brain freezy machine. He got his favourite flavor-cherry-paid, and left. Too many filthy people to stick around.

"Excuse me, sir?" a voice called out brokenly from beside him.

Sipping his drink, Nny cast him a sidelong glance, eyes narrowing. "What do you want?" he asked, forcefully putting his straw back in his mouth as if it would help express his lack of desire to communicate with this man.

"C-could you spare me some change? A man needs alcohol to escape this Hell."

Nny felt an even more overwhelming desire to shove all the pennies lost in his clothes down the man's eye sockets. "No. If you weren't such a degrading piece of human flesh, incapable of anything but begging, I might. Both of us know you could get yourself out of this mess with more than just pining for pennies." Nny leaned down and gave the man a glare. "And as for an escape from Hell, you don't want to see or even begin to grasp the concept of the Hell I've brought many men to, a Hell _I_ created, and escaped myself, without alcohol, if you will."

Straightening up, Nny brushed off any imaginary dirt off his jacket and turned to stride away, not bothering to see the man's reaction as he threw one last comment over his shoulder, "I suggest you think long and hard about this. Someone out there may not be as tolerant of human waste as I am."

Earphones buried in his ears, Johnny began trekking down the once-familiar sidewalks, replaying the scene of his first encounter with humanity since he'd arrived back. He felt it had gone…swimmingly. Not only had he crushed his psychotic urges, but he'd even conquered his rare feelings of pity for the homeless. Hurray.

A jovial gait joined his walk, making it much more enjoyable to be heading back to a place he really could define as Hell, minus the people who couldn't be pleased. Well, until he had killed them, which probably wasn't really pleasing either. Oh, well, no turning back time now, was there?

He looked around and wondered what had been going on with the people who had been there, the ones who lived. He mostly caught himself thinking of Devi, and even more, Squee.

An alien feeling lurched in his stomach. What happened to Squeegee? It seemed so farfetched as to think the boy could have resisted the inevitable change society brings upon people. Surely he had succumbed to all sorts of peer pressure, stupidity, and lowered himself to the mindset of the flesh robots around him. He was probably ignorantly happy, too.

This caused a frown to tug at Johnny's lips. It was when he had thoughts like this that he found himself turning the music in his ears up to drum-popping levels, not wanting to think about the present state of his only, dearest friend. Out of all the people he'd tolerated over the past few years, Squee had been the only person who he really wanted to be around. Of all the people, a little kid was the company he preferred. What did that say about humanity?

"_Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset, swiftly go the days. Sunrise, sunset, you wake and then you undress, it always is the same,_" the music sang to him, and Nny snorted. Sometimes he felt like he could really get along with this Conor Oberst person, but also knew he would be completely baffled by him. Nny didn't like being baffled, so he was better off where he was. Probably, anyway.

As Johnny neared his old home, he began to question what had possessed him to return. He wiped his brow for perspiration.

"_Sunrise and sunset, go home to your apartment, put the cassette in the tape deck, and let that fever play."_

X

Immediately upon reaching home, Jill had nearly tackled Todd with a hug that made his ribs hurt. When she pulled away, she looked as though she might say something, but instead pressed her lips together tightly. Todd thought he saw tears in her eyes.

"Pepito is in the tree house, so you know," She said softly. Jill had long since grown used to the anti-Christ coming around and spending nights there. It was just as well; Jill didn't have the heart to be mean to any living thing, and often times went to extra measures to make sure Pepito felt at home. Todd sometimes thought she must have the biggest heart of anyone he'd ever known.

"Yeah, he texted me earlier," Todd answered, already trekking toward the backyard. Neither Todd nor Pepito felt any real desire to have a big graduation party, or go to any, so they decided to just hang out in Todd's tree house.

Todd reached the ladder that wound itself along the trunk and hoisted himself on it, stopping to flick his shaggy black hair out of his eyes. By this time, Pepito's head was poking out of the door, his equally unruly black hair casting a shadow on his face.

"Hurry up, amigo!" he said excitedly, disappearing back into the tree house. The tree house had been built ages ago and had lasted such a long time because Jill was against allowing Todd anywhere she deemed unsafe. With a space heater, Todd was pretty sure he could sleep out there in the winter.

The whole place was basically nestled into the tree, foundation boards placed everywhere for extra support. The house itself was big enough to accommodate Todd and a few of his friends, and the things they tended to bring up there. Jill had let Todd and his friend paint it, so it was covered in scribbles and other nonsensical things that little boys draw. Todd and Pepito always brought up how they should repaint it, but never got around to it.

Todd slung his bag off his shoulder as he neared the top and threw it through the door before Pepito impatiently tugged him inside.

"Could you be any slower?" Pepito muttered, going in to sit on a pile of clothes that really needed taken down.

Simpering, Todd sat down across from him. "Of course I could, and it would probably save me the trip of actually climbing, because you would drag me up here yourself."

Pepito rolled his eyes and grabbed two sodas out of a tiny mini fridge they'd invested in after many nights of being thirsty and having Jill bring them sodas.

"We're getting a little too old for this, aren't we?" Todd said, taking one of the sodas and popping the tab.

"No way, this is exactly what it's going to be like in college, except we won't have to ask Jill to let us into the house at 3 in the morning to use the restroom," Pepito argued, taking a sip from his soda and setting it down. "Besides, you're super secluded about your room anyway, so it isn't like we could hang out in there."

Todd couldn't disagree with him. Ever since Todd was little, he never wanted anyone in his room. Something about it made him feel really uneasy. He also didn't like it when people read his journal or the things he wrote, unless he Okayed it. Not the journal though; he would never let anyone read that. He was just a private person.

Pepito crinkled his nose and smirked at Todd. "And just what would Jill think if we _did_ suddenly start hanging out in your room? Do you know how many times I've had to assure her that I'm straight? That would ruin all my progress!" He laughed as Todd's face grew flushed.

"Hey, I never even let any of my boyfriends in my room, so I'm sure she wouldn't assume anything." Todd's voice trailed off, the lewdness of Pepito's sentence making him uneasy.

Straightening up, Pepito put on his best Jill voice, "Oh, Pepito! You know you didn't have to hide this from me! I'm just so glad Todd is with someone who I approve of!" Then he broke off, sniggering.

"Haha, more like she'd be wondering what kind of mess she'd gotten herself into. First she adopts a kid who won't let anyone in his room, whose best friend also happens to be the anti-Christ. Then she finds out her adoptive son is also dating the anti-Christ and doing very anti-Christ things in the bedroom," Todd laughed.

"Any other mother would be very disappointed. I can just see Jill smothering me with love and telling me to call her 'Mom'," Pepito drained the last of his soda and stood up. "And I'll have you know that Dad would approve. But hey! Let's go get brain freezies. There's no such thing as a party without them."

Todd just shook his head, remarking how not even _he_ calls Jill Mom but agreed and followed his friend, who was already halfway down the ladder.

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hurray for chapter two! review? {:


	3. Chapter 3: The Joy In Discovery

OH LOOK, CHAPTER THREE. why yes, i DO still exist. and i'm sorry for the wait. it's a-happening, slowly, but surely! so, anyway. my life has been awesome. and full of schoolwork. and a lot of studying, because i might be going to france. and my dog is prego. good times.

disclaimer: i own none of this. dern.

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CHAPTER THREE

Johnny's dark eyes narrowed as he turned the corner, turning his music off. An eerie silence met him, almost like the universe was waiting for this moment; the moment where Johnny once again faced his past. This didn't happen often, and he wasn't really keen to do it, but he'd gotten this far hadn't he?

A loud clatter pulled Nny out of his thoughts and caused him to whip his head around, searching behind him wildly. His heart rate gave a jolt and he found himself instinctively reaching for the knife he kept tucked away in his long, black coat.

Johnny slid the knife out and held it threateningly, his eyes darting back and forth for a few frantic moments before he concluded that it must have just been his imagination. He didn't bother to put his weapon back, but merely held the handle and let his long coat sleeve fall down to conceal most of it.

He continued nearing his old home, keeping his gaze glued onto the gray sidewalk. That was one thing about this town that he didn't miss; the colour. Of course, he didn't miss really anything about this place, but he definitely didn't miss the way the sky was almost always overcast, throwing everything off. Red was gray and yellow was white, and everything was an illusion. * It made Johnny uneasy to have something play up his eye sight like that, even though he knew exactly what it really was; just lighting.

The neighborhood was beginning to get to him. He could feel it in his bones that something was wrong, but he didn't dare look up until he reached his destination. So he passed cracks in the sidewalk that shrank and expanded, depending on the direction it was heading, and he kicked any stray pebble that happened to be in the path of his black boots.

He caught himself glancing over his shoulder a lot, gripping his knife tighter each time. The outlandish feeling was making him feel semi-frantic. Once, he could have sworn his eyes had locked onto someone else's, but as soon as he blinked, he was staring at the trees and the empty street again. Eventually, he pocketed his knife, but kept looking back.

When the moment finally came for Johnny to face his past, he could have sworn eyes were on his as he lifted his own. The instant his eyes looked up, his heart jumped, jolted, and seemingly stopped, like a frightened deer that had run only to be shot in the end.

There was no past to look at. Not even a pile of rubble to sift through, or the remnants of a home ever existing. Johnny's feet acted on their own, taking him closer to the patch of stiff, stalks of grass that looked as though no one had mowed it in the past three years. When he came to standing in it, he was almost certain that was the case.

He scoured the earth beneath him, blinking in confusion at the dirt and plant life under his feet. Where was his house? What had happened to it? Did the town tear it down, or did it swallow itself? Johnny scraped his boot across the dirt, and, considering the lack of his old basement, he guessed the latter was the most logical explanation.

Had anyone witnessed the strange phenomenon? When did it happen? Johnny tore his eyes from the ground and looked over to the only house near his, and strode over to it. Squee would know, wouldn't he? Was Squee still here? The entire house had the atmosphere of emptiness, and the thought of no one being there made Johnny nervous.

Johnny felt a strange fondness in his chest as he approached the window and was able to slide it open. Squee always listened. Without hesitation, he slipped into the house, using a dirty lawn gnome as a step up. The sound of his feet hitting the wooden floor sounded horribly out of place in the silence, and the stale odor made him terribly aware that no one was here.

Where was Squee?

The boy's room, although barely visible in the fading daylight, was messy, but it looked like the room of a little kid. The bed was the same; sheets tussled, rocket ships zooming across the comforter toward the poster-filled walls. Clothes were still strewn across the floor, a tiny pair of red sneakers resting next to the door.

A good layer of dust lined everything, though. No one had touched this room in a long time, Johnny realized. He set his bag down on a tiny nightstand, using his free hands to brush his hair back, holding it there and gazing around.

"_No house, no Squee, what am I doing here? Why do I still feel this urge to be here? What is waiting for me here?"_ Johnny thought, dropping his hands, hair falling to fringe his face again. He could feel himself growing displeased with the lack of direction his trip had suddenly produced. What else could be here? He didn't want to leave though, and he knew that. What was he waiting for?

He turned, getting ready to crawl back out the window when something distracted him. A familiar object was resting in the space between Squee's nightstand and the wall. He grabbed his bag and set it on the bed to better see the strange fuzzy lump that looked to be hanging awkward by its leg. Johnny lifted it up and felt an unidentifiable tug in him.

Shmee. Johnny held the little bear in front of him and looked it over; it was worn and had fading fur. One of the eyes looked as though it'd seen more than any plastic eye was able to, and its chest had a snaking stitch holding it together. Johnny vaguely recalled the first time he'd seen the bear and stabbed it until the fluffy entrails fell out.

Unlike last time, though, Johnny didn't hear any voices as he held it. He didn't hear any voices ever. It was just a silent, darkening room full of dust, abandoned items, and him. Johnny brought the tiny stuffed animal closer to him, hugging it to his stomach. Without thinking, he lay down on Squee's old bed and closed his eyes. He wasn't sure why, but he sat there for maybe hours before falling asleep, clutching Shmee as close to him as he could.

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oh, look. an end. review, yes? :D


	4. Chapter 4: The Vanishing Act

_I still exist and stuff. i'm still going to write this, i mean, how can i not? i love squee too much. i was pouting in my corner of loneliness and decided to work. enjoy(:_

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_**The Vanishing Act**_

Todd kept his hands shoved in the pockets of his dark jeans, keeping up with Pepito's gait. The boy always had this way about him; completely confident and not afraid to show it. It was a wonder how the two became friends. But, then again, Todd always _had_ been the weird one. Who else would befriend a boy with horns poking out of his head, shouting that he was the anti-Christ?

So, it was natural that Todd walked in a calm manner while Pepito tended to walk as though the ground was actually just moving underneath him and he was simply walking in place. Todd would bet that Pep would probably think that if someone posed the idea to him.

"I can't believe it, man, we're out of high school," Pepito breathed, breaking the easy silence that had sprouted between them. Pepito cast a sideways glance at Todd, who broke into a grin.

"Not out of school, though," Todd said, knowing he was being a Debbie Downer, "still gotta go to college."

Pepito scoffed. "No one _has_ to go to college." He looked down at his black shoes for a moment, pondering. "I mean, look at me. All I have to do with my life is Hell's paperwork, and Dad does most of it, usually." He pursed his lips before adding, "I can really just puppy-dog-eyes my way with him."

"For the devil, your dad is such a pushover," Todd laughed. "Is that really what you want to do, Pep?" Todd wondered, flicking his fringe out of his eyes to look at his friend. Pepito was transfixed with the ground.

"I'm not sure. I mean, I'll go to college, because I know you are. I just don't know what I'm really going to do," Pepito's voice seemed to lack his normal cheer, and Todd wanted to say something, but Pepito brightened instantly, a mirthful smirk on his face, "Besides! How are you going to get there without me to drive you?"

Todd groaned. It was no secret that Todd and Jill shared a car, and not a particularly good one. Jill was a nurse and acquired quite a nice income, but she saved most of her money all of Todd's life to pay for him to go to college. This resulted in them not ever replacing the car. Jill had driven the same car all his life, since the very day she took him home.

More commonly referred to as Melted Steering Wheel, the car was in pretty awful condition. It was an old, black Toyota Camry from some year that Todd didn't have the initiative to try and find out. Everything worked on it, and it ran, but sometimes the things that worked would stop working for no reason. The radio, for one, seemed to have a mind of its own, and the steering wheel, obviously, had its hang ups.

Pepito had been giving Todd rides to school ever since he could drive, and taught Todd how to drive as well. It was probably a good thing that Pepito was going to college, because, with Jill's hours, Todd wasn't sure how sharing a vehicle was going to pan out. Pepito's car never died suddenly, either. That was always a plus in Todd's book.

"Ugh, don't remind me," Todd mumbled, training his vision on the ground. "At least we both got accepted into the same college." He raised his eyes to look at Pepito's soft green ones. (a/n lol, made that up on the spot.)

"Yeah, lucky we both got accepted into the same college that's only twenty minutes away!" Pepito smirked, "I'm not sure I'd be willing to drive any further. For you, I would drive anywhere, but just knowing I would be driving there to be lectured at? Not my style, amigo."

Todd just nodded, not exactly sure what to add to that statement. He turned his eyes back toward the ground, feeling a little lost in thought. He felt like he should have a stronger sense of freedom now that the official school day was over.

"_Maybe after I get my diploma and I'm really, truly done with that place, I'll feel more celebratory."_ He mused, not quite believing himself. He could just _feel_ something, almost place the name, but it was like a lightning bug in the middle of the night sky; so bright and obviously visible, but so much more difficult to catch without just a fragment of sunlight.

Sucking his lower lip into his mouth, he began to nibble on it thoughtfully. He wanted to say something, anything to fill the silence for Pepito, but the other boy knew him so well by now that he didn't seem bothered. It was just as well; Todd just had a million things on his mind and nothing to say. Nothing on his mind would stay, either; it was a constant blur of thoughts that didn't appear to have a consistent image or an end.

For the majority of the time, Todd kept his eyes glued to the colliding concrete sidewalk, feeling an easy silence settle, but every step he took, he felt more of that unnamable essence jumping in his veins. Only after they had crossed a familiar road did Todd look up, and what he saw made him stop dead in his tracks.

"Amigo?" Pepito asked, having walked a little further before noticing the absence of matter by his side. He stopped and turned to face Todd, questions etched across his face.

"Hold on," Todd murmured, unable to stop gawking at a scene unfolding in front of him. He was mystified by a ridiculously skinny man dressed in black who appeared to be giving a beggar a hard time. Todd's eyes followed his movements like a connect-the-dots as the man angrily sucked his brain freezy.

That strange feeling in him apparently kicked into overdrive in those few moments, because his heartbeat began to pound in his head, and the anticipation he'd been experiencing all day teetered at a precipice, nearly satiated just by this stranger.

An awfully familiar stranger.

The man had turned away by now and was walking off before Todd regained his composure. His eyes snapped over to look at Pepito. The confused boy was staring at Todd and then the man, as if it was some puzzle he could solve if he just looked at it a little longer.

"Who is that? And why are you looking at him like that?" Pepito voiced, bringing Todd completely back to awareness.

"I think I, wait- looking at him like what?" Todd said rapidly, having already decided to follow the man, headed in the same direction and left Pepito behind him.

"What is going on with you, Todd?" He asked, completely dumbfounded, jogging to fill the gap that had sprouted between them at Todd's quick departure. "You look like you want to cut him open and analyze his insides or something creepily equivalent." Pepito answered.

Todd grimaced, "No, no, I think I know him. Maybe. I don't know. He just looks really familiar." He said each word as fast as he could, speeding up his pace so that he wouldn't lose the man, who seemed to be lurking more in and out of shadows instead of walking clearly on the sidewalk.

"Okay, so why are we following him? And what about our brain freezies?" Pepito sounded crestfallen, but quickened his walk to match Todd's.

"Forget the brain freezies! This is more important right now! We'll get them on the way back," Todd grumbled. He slowed down only a little when they had gained serious ground, merely a couple of yards away from the man. Now Todd focused more on being quiet, still unsure if he knew the man or not. The lightning bug was back, brighter than ever, but fluttering just above his outstretched arms.

Pepito followed behind Todd silently, the situation completely bizarre to him. Every so often Todd would stop in his tracks and crouch, locked onto his target. There was something about Todd that was strangely reminiscent to a hunter stalking its prey, and Pepito wasn't sure he liked the looks of the prey, or where this was going.

At one point, Todd stopped so abruptly that Pepito nearly bumped into him. This caused Todd to stagger forward a step, kicking a pile of pebbles. The sound echoed through the virtually barren streets, causing their target to freeze.

Todd's heart hammered in his chest fearfully, and he quickly pulled Pepito over to the grass behind a row of bushes. Had the situation been less frightening at the moment, he would have laughed at how conveniently placed the bushes were. He could have bet at that moment that he had highly evolved escapist instincts.

With wide eyes, Todd monitored the man as he tossed his drink down. His breathing hitched as he watched the man slide a knife into his hand and conceal it under the sleeve of his jacket. The man did a 360 look around, narrowed his eyes, and continued his previous path.

"I _really_ don't want to know why you would know this guy, Todd," Pepito breathed when the man had progressed quite a ways away from them. Todd wasn't sure what to say to Pepito, but under his trepidation, he still felt compelled to follow him.

Slowly, Todd emerged from the bushes and began his earlier task, but at a much more cautious rate. Now that his initial excitement had turned to apprehension, he planned to be tremendously careful about his steps now.

Pepito, like a ridiculously loyal friend, followed. He was either not questioning because he knew Todd was determined to do this, or he was still speechless from the shock. Todd wasn't going to consider Pepito's motives at this moment; tailing that man was much more important… and his voice was probably really weak from the shock, too.

The process seemed unbearably slow compared to the near-running they had been doing earlier, but there was too much alarm to stray more than a block behind the man. They kept darting behind bushes, trees, and even other people's cars. No way were they going to make a mistake again, it was just too dangerous, especially having the knowledge that a knife was safely obscured by the sleeve of the man's jacket.

As they surged forward, the neighborhood became increasingly shabbier. Houses were falling apart or leaning to one side, all of them looking like someone took a cookie cutter and smashed out identical houses and thought of new ways to destroy them. It all seemed familiar, making Todd's head spin.

Ultimately, they came to a stop just a corner away from the man. Hidden behind a worn-down privacy fence, they watched him turn and walk straight into an empty house lot. Todd felt his stomach lurch sickeningly when he realized just where the house was, and almost simultaneously, it all made sense to him.

"Nny," Todd whispered, his body visibly shaking now. He _did_ know this man, his knives, his walk, and his talk. It was his scary neighbor, the one he had nightmares about, the one he cared about still. Johnny was the man who always needed band aids and bactine, who had once saved him from something he still couldn't grasp, and had been one of the first people to care.

"Who? Todd, amigo, you're shaking really bad," Pepito hissed, frantically looking Todd up and down and then glancing at Nny, as if that could somehow solve the problem.

"He… He was my neighbor. He's that man I told you about," Todd replied. The response felt almost automatic, like he wasn't in his body at the moment. He was spellbound by Johnny. The strange anticipation he felt had ostensibly dissipated, leaving him now with aching curiosity and a handful of fireflies.

Todd wanted to walk out there, to talk to Johnny, but something was holding him back, something that wasn't just the physicality of Pepito or the fear of Johnny's concealed weapon. Todd began to chew on his bottom lip, eyes not leaving Johnny for an instant. Just as he thought he couldn't fight the urge any longer, Johnny was climbing inside his old house.

"He's gone, let's get the fuck out of here," Pepito growled, yanking Todd in the opposite direction of Todd's old home, determined to get them as far away from Johnny as possible. As far as he was concerned, this man was not good news, and he didn't want Todd to get involved in any of that fucked up shit.

"Okay," Todd agreed, his voice still sounding mechanical. He kept throwing glances back at the corner, causing Pepito to keep a steadying hand on his shoulder, urging him forward.

"Let's just go get brain freezies," Pepito said softly.

It was in that moment that Todd realized he didn't care how fucked up it was, or what any of the potential dangers could be; he had to talk to Nny again, and he resolved to do just that.

* * *

_Now tell me you love me ;D_


	5. Chapter 5: An Author Note

So, I'm thinking about starting this story up again. Would any of you still be interested in reading it?

Also, wow, sorry for the hiatus. I have a story for all of you who wish to know what happened:

Warning: rape, eating disorder, trauma, angst

On my 17th birthday I lost my virginity to a guy who wouldn't take no for an answer. I have been in and out of relapse for an eating disorder for a few years now. I've been in and out of shitty relationships and trying hard to figure out my own sexuality, getting nowhere fast. I've had problems with my family and my own health. Also, I'm an angsty bitch. I'm currently finally living on my own with a job and going to school, so I can't promise several updates all the time. Hopefully you guys can forgive me for neglecting this story for so long.

love, Kear.


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